Tag Archives: Federal Bureau of Investigation

January 12th

On this day in 1995 Qubilah Shabazz, the daughter of Malcolm X was arrested for conspiring to kill Louis Farrakhan.

Qubilah with Malcolm

This is in fact a really shitty little story of a woman being hounded, nasty little FBI informants and, being left with a feeling that it all seemed to be about getting one over on Malcolm’s daughter rather than any real awful murder about to be committed.

Why do I think that? Qubilah had seen her father murdered when she was just four years old. From that moment onwards her mother, Betty Shabazz believed that Louis Farrakhan had been involved in the murder of Malcolm. Farrakhan has denied being actively involved, but at times has said that maybe the things he said led to it happening. Then again in a speech he gave in 1993 he said:

Was Malcolm your traitor or ours? And if we dealt with him like a nation deals with a traitor, what the hell business is it of yours? A nation has to be able to deal with traitors and cutthroats and turncoats.

To be honest, if a man who I had reason to dislike, fear and possibly

Qubilah escorted into court (May 1995) by her lawyer

hate, said that about my father’s murder, I’d be strongly inclined to believe that he had been part of the conspiracy to murder him. Qubilah did hate Farrakhan and worse, she was worried about her mother’s safety. Betty was vocal and without fear in her belief that Farrakhan had planned her husband’s murder. Her daughter feared, rightly or wrongly, that Farrakhan might also plan the murder of her mother.

Forward to 1994. An old school friend of hers, Michael Fitzpatrick, claimed that she called him and asked him to murder Farrakahn. She definitely did call him and there was talk of how dangerous Farrakhan was and that she wanted him dead. Unfortunately for Qubilah, what she didn’t know was that Fitzpatrick was an FBI informant. They spoke throughout May and June of that year. He asked her to marry him and actively encouraged her to talk about her hatred of Farrakhan and her desire to see him murdered.

However, luckily for Qubilah, Fitzpatrick also started recording his phone conversations with her, probably at the request of the FBI. After her arrest she was indicted on the charges of using telephones and crossing state lines in a plot to kill Farrakhan. A couple of surprises came up at this point. One was that the recordings made by Fitzpatrick to prove her guilt, made him look like he was entrapping her. She came across as unsure, nervous, tentative and an unwilling conspirator. The other was that Farrakhan himself spoke in her defence, saying he did not believe her capable of murder, that she was a good girl who had been led astray. Certainly, Qubilah was, by then, suffering from alcohol and drug problems. Her life had not been easy, she was almost certainly paranoid and Fitzpatrick and the FBI had used this to push her into breaking the law.

This is the bit I find so despicable. Hadn’t the woman suffered enough? I mean really, did the FBI think that she was some sort of national danger? Anyway! It was clear that it would be hugely difficult to find her guilty of the original charges (which could have seen her do up to 90 years in jail) and so a plea bargain saw her maintain her innocence, but she took responsibility for her actions. She was then required to undergo psychological counselling and drug and alcohol abuse treatment for two years in order to avoid prison.

As far as I know, the FBI weren’t told to sort themselves the fuck out and nothing happened to Fitzpatrick, even though a good kick up the arse was the very least he deserved for being such a nasty little shitehawk.

Unfortunately, there was more sadness in the Shabazz family in the years following this, but let’s end on something that at least approaches a happy ending. I am in no mood to bring myself and all of you down any further than I already have.

Today is the birthday of French actor and serial dater of hot women, Olivier Martinez.

His name won’t mean much to you if you never read the gossip pages, because while he is an actor, he’s not really that famous as an actor. He is however famous for being good looking and dating, cheating on, breaking up with and then dating, a number of hot famous women. It has been said of him that given the number of women he has probably had pre-marital ghastliness with, his wank bank is probably as big as Fort Knox.

His Milkshake brings all the girls to his yard

He first came to notice as the boyfriend of Mira Sorvino and has since been attached to a lot of famous women, including Kylie Minogue, Rosie Huntington-Whitely and is now, allegedly, engaged to Halle Berry. He’s definitely been her boyfriend for a while and he’d probably be mad to not want to marry her. Well, for all I know she could be as mad as a box of frogs, but she is stunningly beautiful.

Anyway,he’s 46 today, still hot, still making laydeez go weak at the knees and occasionally being in a film that no one ever gets to hear about. I’m not going to wish him a happy birthday. I’m not being churlish, but frankly the man has everything. He needs nada from me!


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March 14th

On this day in 1950 the FBI published  its first “10 Most Wanted” list.

The idea for this criminal top ten occurred to the FBI after The Washington Daily News published an article entitled “FBI’s most wanted fugitives named”. It proved popular and helpful – public tips helping them to track down criminals, etc – that eventually the transvestite J. Edgar Hoover, was convinced that it would be a good idea to have an ongoing top ten list of dastardly criminals on the go.


J Edgar Hoover's personal top ten included a mink coat and a nice pair of silky drawers

The first list was published 61 years ago and the first chap on it, Thomas James Holden, was definitely a nasty piece of work. That said, some of the others, while hardly nice young men, seem a little out-of-place on a most-wanted list. It’s a bit like seeing a top ten most loved pop songs with something by the Beatles at no.1 and Agadoo by Black Lace (important warning: Click link at your own risk) at no.2. You know deep down inside that someone, somewhere must have liked Agadoo,  but for the life of you, you can’t figure out how or why.


As with many ideas that law enforcement organisations come up with, the Most Wanted List brought positive and negative results. The major positive result was getting  publicity which led to the public helping them to find cunning convicts. The major negative result was getting publicity which led to fame hungry fugitives getting killier and naughtier so that they too could find themselves at no.1 with a bullet (or a machete, or an uzi, or …) The fame thing got even bigger when CBS began airing America’s Most Wanted in 1988 and bad men could get to see their faces on television as well as down-on-their-luck actors performing re-enactments of their crimes. This said, it is not thought that Osama Bin Laden (no.456) did his crime stuff to get on the list, although he is apparently very miffed to only be 3rd on the current list behind Victor Manuel Gerena who is just a big-time robber and Glen Stewart Godwin his is a drug trafficker and a bit of a murderer.

If you’re wondering why the Saudi bearded man is no. 456, it’s because as each person gets caught, dies or rarely is taken off the list because everyone realises they’re a bit of a shit criminal, a new member is added with an incremental number. Bin Laden is the 456th person to go on the list, he is not the 456th most dangerous person in the world (that is a Mr Colin Dremble of Saffron Walden whose inability to tell cinnamon from cyanide makes his apple pie parties a little edgy).

So, there we have it. If you’ve seen Glen, Victor or Osama, have a word with your local friendly FBI agent. If you’re considering a life of crime as a short cut to fame, stop that right now. You can always go on Britain/America’s Got Talent instead. It’s sort of criminal, but not the ending up in jail and being beaten up by proper criminals sort of way. This is the first time in my life I have advised choosing Simon Cowell over the alternative.


Today is the Birthday of My Name is Michael Caine, who was born in Southwark in 1933 and called Maurice Micklewhite. He changed his name when  he got older so that it would match the song Madness wrote about him. It worked well for him and meant that he got to act in lots of films. Sometimes he got to be posh, like in Zulu, (that all English men seem to love to distraction for some reason), but mostly he was just a common little oik, like in Alfie or The Italian Job. Caine is a very famous and much-loved actor, but even he admits he’s made some absolutely terrible films, like The Swarm and Jaws: The Revenge, but it’s okay because he only did it for the money, lor’ luv ‘im!

He used to do a lot of sex with a lot of women in the 60s and 70s and he liked a drink or several too. These days he’s just old and has

Looking a bit iconic

become the sort of bloated luvvie he always used to hate. That said, he was splendid in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in 1988, so on the basis that I thought the film was less old than that, I’m still prepared to give him a bit of benefit for having been funny once.


Michael Caine has been Oscar nominated five times (winning twice as best supporting actor) and has had three Razzie nominations.  He mostly gets on my tits, but in  honour of his birthday, here’s a bit of Madness (who do not get on my tits).



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