On this day in 1950 the FBI published its first “10 Most Wanted” list.
The idea for this criminal top ten occurred to the FBI after The Washington Daily News published an article entitled “FBI’s most wanted fugitives named”. It proved popular and helpful – public tips helping them to track down criminals, etc – that eventually the transvestite J. Edgar Hoover, was convinced that it would be a good idea to have an ongoing top ten list of dastardly criminals on the go.
J Edgar Hoover's personal top ten included a mink coat and a nice pair of silky drawers
The first list was published 61 years ago and the first chap on it, Thomas James Holden, was definitely a nasty piece of work. That said, some of the others, while hardly nice young men, seem a little out-of-place on a most-wanted list. It’s a bit like seeing a top ten most loved pop songs with something by the Beatles at no.1 and Agadoo by Black Lace (important warning: Click link at your own risk) at no.2. You know deep down inside that someone, somewhere must have liked Agadoo, but for the life of you, you can’t figure out how or why.
As with many ideas that law enforcement organisations come up with, the Most Wanted List brought positive and negative results. The major positive result was getting publicity which led to the public helping them to find cunning convicts. The major negative result was getting publicity which led to fame hungry fugitives getting killier and naughtier so that they too could find themselves at no.1 with a bullet (or a machete, or an uzi, or …) The fame thing got even bigger when CBS began airing America’s Most Wanted in 1988 and bad men could get to see their faces on television as well as down-on-their-luck actors performing re-enactments of their crimes. This said, it is not thought that Osama Bin Laden (no.456) did his crime stuff to get on the list, although he is apparently very miffed to only be 3rd on the current list behind Victor Manuel Gerena who is just a big-time robber and Glen Stewart Godwin his is a drug trafficker and a bit of a murderer.
If you’re wondering why the Saudi bearded man is no. 456, it’s because as each person gets caught, dies or rarely is taken off the list because everyone realises they’re a bit of a shit criminal, a new member is added with an incremental number. Bin Laden is the 456th person to go on the list, he is not the 456th most dangerous person in the world (that is a Mr Colin Dremble of Saffron Walden whose inability to tell cinnamon from cyanide makes his apple pie parties a little edgy).
So, there we have it. If you’ve seen Glen, Victor or Osama, have a word with your local friendly FBI agent. If you’re considering a life of crime as a short cut to fame, stop that right now. You can always go on Britain/America’s Got Talent instead. It’s sort of criminal, but not the ending up in jail and being beaten up by proper criminals sort of way. This is the first time in my life I have advised choosing Simon Cowell over the alternative.
Today is the Birthday of My Name is Michael Caine, who was born in Southwark in 1933 and called Maurice Micklewhite. He changed his name when he got older so that it would match the song Madness wrote about him. It worked well for him and meant that he got to act in lots of films. Sometimes he got to be posh, like in Zulu, (that all English men seem to love to distraction for some reason), but mostly he was just a common little oik, like in Alfie or The Italian Job. Caine is a very famous and much-loved actor, but even he admits he’s made some absolutely terrible films, like The Swarm and Jaws: The Revenge, but it’s okay because he only did it for the money, lor’ luv ‘im!
He used to do a lot of sex with a lot of women in the 60s and 70s and he liked a drink or several too. These days he’s just old and has
Looking a bit iconic
become the sort of bloated luvvie he always used to hate. That said, he was splendid in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in 1988, so on the basis that I thought the film was less old than that, I’m still prepared to give him a bit of benefit for having been funny once.
Michael Caine has been Oscar nominated five times (winning twice as best supporting actor) and has had three Razzie nominations. He mostly gets on my tits, but in honour of his birthday, here’s a bit of Madness (who do not get on my tits).
Almaniacal 